I want to take a moment to express my deep-felt gratitude for my fantastic friends and family.
Suffering from M.E. and mental health issues for at least a decade now, there have been times when I’ve felt very alone and misunderstood. There have been times when I really could not cope. There have been times when I have rambled on and on in a very irrational manner. There have been times when I have had to let people down. My friends and family have always been there for me. There are not enough words to express how grateful I am for their love and support.
When I received the good news this week that I had to chosen for a prestigious internship I had 7 friends that I needed to message straight away because they had all supported me with my application process. Their responses were lovely:
“HELL YES! Llongyfarchiade (congratulations) Holly!”
“That’s amazing!!! I’m so happy for you, well done”
“Yayyy” Well done you!”
“Ah amazing! Well done!”
“You absolute hero! Well done! You’ll be amazing at it, you totally deserve it”
“HOLY SHIT!! Yeah you did!!!!!! Well done Chicky!! I’m very proud of you”
“Woo hoo! Congratulations! Exciting!! But anxious times too I guess?” (she also has M.E. so understands my fears!)
A special dose of love goes to my friend who surprised me on Valentine’s morning (the morning of my interview, but she didn’t know) by bringing me red roses! She also lives a long way away so it was extra surprising! Then the day after I found out I had been offered the internship a handwritten letter arrived from her. I’m going to make a special trip to see her to repay all her love.
Along with my friends and family so many people have helped me along the way: the people who I have worked with in voluntary and paid positions, my healthcare practitioners and the wonderful support networks that reside online. To all of them I also say a heartfelt thank you for their support and encouragement. I wouldn’t be in this position without them.
Just this week my wonderful yoga teacher agreed to let me run a fundraising/awareness raising campaign for Beat the eating disorders charity during Eating Disorders Awareness Week next week. We’re going to wear silly socks during our yoga classes for ‘Sock It to Eating Disorders!’ I’ll write a blog about that next week.
Mental health issues make it very hard to maintain relationships and express how important people are to you. I find it hard to say thank you and sorry to people’s faces as I find it too emotional so I often write to them or buy them little presents instead. I often worry that people don’t know how grateful I am or how much I love them, so this is me trying to make amends, rather than let those nasty voices in me head tell me how terrible I am! To those 7 friends who sent me those lovely messages above: you all have a very big portion of my heart and I hope I can be there for you all as much as you are for me.
If you want to show people how much you love them but mental health issues are making it hard, try writing or drawing or sending them a little card. Don’t let those nasty voices win! You are not selfish, you are trying your best and your loved ones will understand because they love you back.